***This post contains adult themes***
Why did I make the choice to be celibate?
In a nutshell, it boils down to self respect.
I have been out of a long term relationship for six years now. During four of those years, I dated different men on and off, however in these last two years I made the decision to be celibate.
I realize that celibacy may not be the most popular choice. Western society is highly sexualized, and sex is pushed on us from every direction in the media. It seems like promiscuous, meaningless sex has become normalized in our current culture.
After being on the dating scene for four years of having meaningless experience after meaningless experience, culminating with the last casual sexual experience I will ever have due to a traumatic experience I experienced on a date. The day after that date, I made the choice to be celibate. I decided that I would never ever again be intimate with someone who didn’t truly love and care about me. Even if that decision meant that I never had intimacy with another man for the rest of my life. I decided that it wasn’t worth the feeling of shame that came with being physically intimate with someone that I’m not committed to who didn’t value me or respect me.
What have I learned during these two years of celibacy?
I learned to truly love myself. To value my sexuality and my body. To cherish my celibacy and to treat it like a gem.
I learned that I am perfectly happy being on my own, and I am no longer codependent and looking towards another person to fill a hole inside of me. Instead, learning to depend on myself for love and happiness.
I learned that sex and intimacy needs to be be appreciated, and treated like it is a sacred act. That sharing my body with another person should be celebrated like a very special gift that two people can give each other when there is shared love.
I learned that I will never again accept someone putting their hands on me who is not a person that I have a deep, meaningful, and spiritual connection with.
Ultimately, it feels amazing to be celibate. And now I only have the desire to be intimate with someone that I truly love and care for, who truly loves me and cares for me.