Who is the most important person in the world?
I had a recent health scare which further drove this point home for me. Of course my children are a top priority, but if their mother doesn’t take care of herself and love herself, then what good am I to them?
Ultimately we walk this world alone living in our own individual and unique universe’s. Yes we have important people around us that we love, but our lives are our own. Our life is gifted to us for the precious and small amount of time we spend on this earth. What would be the point of living that life choosing to be unhappy?
Self love is the most important thing we can do to improve our own lives, which in turn ripples outward affecting many people.
Radical self love
Here are 5 things any of us can do in everyday life to begin having a beautiful love affair with ourselves:
End negative self talk immediately
Life constantly brings us negativity from everywhere, so why would we be our own worst enemy? Begin ending negative thinking by practicing mindfulness and being aware of our thoughts. Anything negative running through our minds needs to stop. Eventually, by being mindful and aware of our own thinking, we can develop new habits to end negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs permanently.
Give toxic people the boot
People in our lives should be there to lift us up and support us, not knock us down and throw dirt on us. It takes strength and courage to get rid of the toxic people in our lives, however the reward is great because getting rid of this toxic garbage will make room for positive uplifting people to come in. Toxic people are psychologically damaging and abusive. If we are to practice radical self love, then these type of people can not be tolerated.
Say in the mirror everyday ‘I love you’
This is sometimes harder to do than it sounds. Many of us go through life feeling inadequate, marginalized, used, and abused. If looking in the mirror and saying ‘I love you’ is difficult, keep trying. This positive affirmation may take time to work, however the mind will eventually form an new thought pattern. Every morning say ‘I love you’ with conviction. You are worth it. We all are.
In my own experience, when I began to practice the attitude of gratitude, my life changed. My physical circumstances didn’t change, but my level of happiness definitely did in a big way. Rather than seeing the negatives and everything that was wrong in my life, when I began to practice gratitude a significant shift happened. A shift towards happiness and feeling abundant. It can be as simple as being grateful and amazed at an apple. Or how nice it is to have a warm bed when so many on this earth are sleeping cold in the streets. When we begin to see everything that we do have, then the things we feel we don’t have no longer matter.
Stop overgiving and people pleasing
Many of us fall into this trap. We give and give endlessly to others, yet when it comes to giving to ourselves, the tank is empty. The following may sound controversial, but most people can actually look after themselves just fine and don’t need us to do things for them. Many family members, romantic partners, friends, etc. can become codependent on us if they sense that we are easy to manipulate and use.
If someone in our life is always looking to us for help, we should stop and think ‘is this something that they can do for themselves?’ If so, why do it for them? Why feed this codependency in the other person? People pleasing only leads to personal depletion and never having time for nor the energy to give to ourselves. Set healthy boundaries and don’t be the person that everyone else turns to for help. Acting like a martyr is not a helpful thing to do or practicing self love. Overgiving and people pleasing often enables another person to continue not showing up in their own life instead of having the personal responsibility to do things on their own.