On September 21/2019 at 2:30 am, I woke up in incredible pain; I felt like someone had cracked me in the back of the skull with a baseball bat.
Searing pain. I tried to get out of bed, however, I fell on the floor instead unable to get my bearings. ‘What is going on?’ Blurred vision, extreme vertigo, words not coming out of my mouth properly, unable to walk, severe vomiting, completely delirious, and incoherent.
My children ended up needing to call an ambulance for me, and they had to watch from inside the house as their mother was taken away to the hospital with them having no clue as to what was wrong with me.
In the ambulance, I was on advanced life support and I thought that I was dying. I was sure of it. In fact, at one point when being rushed to the hospital I thought that I had actually died.
In the ambulance when I was sure that I was about to go to the great gig in the sky, it was the oddest feeling that I could ever explain. I wasn’t upset or sad at the thought of dying. There was no fear or worry. It was almost a feeling of indifference.
The thought that ran through my mind was
‘I’m dying. Is that all I got to do while I was here? Was that it?’
I had experienced a Subarachnoid Hemorrhage in my brain. 1/3 of people die on the way to the hospital, 1/3 experience severe permanent disabilities such as loss of speech and mobility, and 1/3 are lucky like me with no serious lasting damage, no cognitive problems, and my speech and mobility are back to normal.
I am very healthy – I eat a clean diet, I don’t do drugs or drink, and I get regular exercise as well as doing things like meditation and practicing positive thinking. It was a shock to me that I was experiencing such a major health emergency when it happened.
So the takeaway from this?
I feel that God decided to send me a Tower Moment. To remind me that even though I think I am healthy and doing what I can to make sure I am well, ultimately anything can happen to any of us at any time.
‘Is that all I got to do while I was here?’
My story is a good reminder for everyone to live every single second of our lives as if it were our last. To appreciate the people we love. To chase our dreams. To do everything we want to do, and to use our life to make a difference. To be brave. To do whatever mission God gave us to do while we are here, without being afraid.
Life is short and precious. Don’t waste it doing stupid sh*t that doesn’t matter…
When the time comes for me to officially meet my maker I don’t want the last thought in my mind to be that I didn’t get to do what I wanted to do while I was here. And as I move forward, I will continue to be grateful for this amazing life that God gave me.