by Jennifer Zmurchyk – Prairie Sky Wellness
Narcissists. Some of the most destructive people we can ever come across. They cause havoc and chaos in the lives of everyone around them and have no issues with ruining other people emotionally. The only person in the narcissists life that matters is them.
The interesting thing about narcissists is that their behavior is so predictable it’s like reading a textbook. Once we are armed with knowledge, they are very easy to spot for what they are.
One of these textbook behaviors includes gaslighting – aka ‘crazymaking‘. If any of the following phrases has been used on you, it’s possible that you are the victim of narcissistic abuse.
One of these behaviors includes gaslighting – aka ‘crazymaking‘. Narcissists are very psychologically manipulative and when someone confronts them on their poor behavior, they will blame the other person. A narcissist lacks the ability for self introspection and are always running from themselves.
They will never acknowledge any shortcomings and will do anything to keep on the false mask that they wear for fear of other people discovering who they truly are.
If we are in relationships with romantic partners, friends, or family members where any of the following phrases are used against us, chances are that a narcissist is involved. Many people who have been in relationships with narcissists take years to heal from the abuse.
One of these people is me and every single one of these phrases was used on me at one point in the narcissist’s attempts to make me believe that I was the crazy one. That all of the problems in the relationship were because of me. Although it takes two people to make a relationship work and both contribute to any problems, a narcissist will never take ownership for any issues they cause.
Common Phrases a Narcissist Uses When Gaslighting – Otherwise Known As Crazymaking
The following phrases are all common with narcissists when they engage in blame shifting and gaslighting.
– You’re crazy
– I never did/said that
-You’re making everything up in your head
– You’re issue is that you think too much about things
– You’re creating problems where there aren’t any
– You’re way too sensitive
– You don’t know how to take a joke
– That’s not what happened
– Stop upsetting yourself
– You take things way too seriously
– I am the way I am; take it or leave it
– Everything is always about you
– You blame me for everything wrong that you do
– I was just teasing you, you’re overreacting
– You forced me to do that (insert bad behavior here such as infidelity). You aren’t meeting my needs
Someone with a healthy personality has no issues with self introspection and will NOT use phrases like this if confronted with legitimate shortcomings in themselves, or if there are problems in a relationship.
It is not an act of self love to stay in a toxic situation with an abusive narcissist
Healthy people do not emotionally manipulate, control, or abuse others. Rather, they are always willing to discuss any problems openly and honestly. Someone with a healthy personality has true compassion and empathy for those they care about. A narcissist does not.
It is not an act of self love to stay in a toxic situation with an abusive narcissist. It is important to get professional help and support if needed to take our power back and set strong healthy boundaries. If those boundaries fail, then we need to find the inner courage to walk away and not look back.
Is it possible for a narcissist to change? Yes. However it is not our job to fix them; there is nothing we can do to help. They are suffering from a serious personality disorder. There is a chance that the narcissist will realize that their behavior is toxic, but the full responsibility of change and personal growth lies solely on their shoulders
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