by Jennifer Zmurchyk – Prairie Sky Wellness
For some reason I have been very deep in thought and introspection this week. Maybe it’s because there was a full moon last night, and traditionally full moons are a time of release. Thinking of what I need to let go of – people, old patterns of behavior, old thoughts, old dramas, bad memories, material things. Getting rid of what no longer serves my highest good. Walking away from everything and anything that is toxic in my life.
I have been the kind of person who says ‘I have surrendered and I just go with the flow’. However the more I think about it, the more I realize that I have not truly done this. I am not ‘walking the talk’. It’s not because I purposefully set out to lie to myself, I had fully believed that I had surrendered to let the universe take over and guide me in this life. What made me realize this were some serious triggers I faced this week – big ones that threw me into a downward spiral and almost into a deep depression.
If I had fully surrendered like I said I did, then why would triggers still affect me?
Why do other people and their energy still have power over me?
A full release and surrender means that negative things that others say and do to me would have no effect, because if there was was a full surrender these actions from others would not hurt me. If I had self mastery, it would be impossible for me to get triggered. If there was a full surrender, that means my higher self would be in control rather than my ego; the higher self does not have the fear that the ego does, so if I was living in my higher self and fully surrendered I would have no fear. Only trust and faith that the universe has my back. That the universe loves me and wants what is best for me.
How many of us do this? How many of us post memes on social media saying things like ‘surrender is bliss’ or that we are ‘going with the flow’ ? I’m sure we all have great intentions but are we honestly doing these things?
I guess for me the thing to do is make the effort to honestly and fully surrender. I no longer want my life to be controlled by things outside of me. My spirit is crying out that she no longer wants to be tethered to people or memories of past hurts. My spirit wants to be free.
Time to walk the talk.