by Jennifer Zmurchyk – Prairie Sky Wellness
‘I love you’
A lot of us use this phrase towards others in our lives every day, but how many of us can stand in front of a mirror, look ourselves in the eyes, and honestly say this to the person looking back at us? Sometimes that is easier said than done.
Why would this be difficult?
Why do so many of us feel unworthy of love?
Why do a large percentage of us people get stuck in toxic and codependent relationships afraid to leave because we are scared to be alone?
Why do we seek validation outside of ourselves on places such as Facebook rather than seeking that validation within?
Why do we allow ourselves to be trapped in situations with abusive partners, coworkers, or family members where we give our power away and do not feel like we deserve better for ourselves?
Why do we tell others around us that we love them, yet we often can’t even say this to the person standing in the mirror?
The good news is that when we are able to cultivate true unconditional love for ourselves within, we reach a place of no longer needing to look outside of us for it and we no longer tolerate poor treatment from others. All people are born pure with a clean slate unaltered by the trials of life, yet to be wounded by the harsh reality of what the world is today. If we ever feel unloved or unworthy it is not because any of us are unlovable or unworthy. These negative things and programming come from sources outside of us – other people or society telling us that we somehow aren’t good enough, that there is something wrong with us, that we don’t deserve love. Everyone is loveable, none of us are ‘damaged’ or ‘broken’ or ‘inadequate’. We are highly unique souls with amazing differences and interesting stories – all with scars and battle wounds; all completely lovable.
The best and most reliable source for finding love is within us. There is a never ending and abundant supply of it right in our own hearts. What does it mean to love ourselves? To understand that we are a unique and divine creation that is special in our own way. That we have many gifts, talents, and abilities. That no matter what kinds of ugly people around us have told us that we aren’t good enough, we turn a blind eye because we know inside that we are more than good enough.
To cultivate self love and make us the number one priority in our life is a duty that we should all take seriously. It is not a selfish act to put ourselves at the top of our list above all others. Every single one of us goes through this life in our own little bubble, a universe unto ourselves with every other person in our lives being temporary; no one or no thing in our life is permanent. The only person in our life that we definitely have is us, so why not begin treating that beautiful human being how they deserve to be treated? Love them in the ways they didn’t receive love from others, parent and nurture them if they weren’t properly parented by caregivers as a child.
Why not take a look in that mirror today and every day from here on out and say ‘Hey – I love you. You are a very amazing person who is beautiful, wanted, and loveable. Hey you…I love you and I appreciate you.’ When we are able to love ourselves without condition, only then are we capable of truly loving others without condition, and are able to accept love from others as well without fear.